Neuroscientists have discovered that your thoughts create your reality. This is easy to understand when you realize that you created your current life based on what you believe about yourself and the world.

“Fake it until you make it” is already working for you 

Your intention drives your life which means you have always been acting as if. The power of faking it until you make is that you assume that you already have what it is you want. You follow this up by taking the actions of a person who has already achieved what it is they want to become.

The problem for most of us with “fake it until you make it” is that we assume this is something new we must do to change our lives without realizing we are already doing this with our thoughts. The reality we have created has been unconsciously based on the negative thoughts and internal language we use about ourselves. Let’s use examples.

“I will never get selected for that promotion, there are many candidates better than me.” 

BY using this language, you are faking your failure until you finally achieve it.  By believing others are better than you for the promotion, you will act as you project, inferior to others, and create the reality you believe. You already know people can’t achieve anything if they are convinced they are not good enough to do so, yet we often sabotage our efforts in this way.

Let’s try another one,

“I am too old, ugly, overweight, (fill in the blank), to attract a romantic partner.”

In this scenario, you are faking a future of being alone and you will conspire to bring this about by projecting your negative self beliefs. Again, it is impossible to be attractive to anyone if you deem you are not, yet I see people doing this to themselves all of the time.

This one is tough for me because, being sixty-seven years of age and single, I often bring myself down believing  I am too old to attract a romantic partner. Fortunately, I am becoming better at recognizing these negativity beliefs  when they come up and I can detach from them. I replace them with the knowledge I am a beautiful man in body mind and spirit and that any woman would be fortunate to have me as a partner. Man or woman, you too are special and worthy of love.

To get the life you want, you must train differently

The first steps to successful “fake it until you make it” is to change your internal language. Changing these thoughts will not come easily if you are used to putting yourself down, but you can change it with some training.

This is not farfetched. If you want to play the piano, you can learn it on your own or take lessons. If you want to become more fit, you exercise or get help from a trainer.

You can choose what you want to fake, but you cannot do it without noticing your negative thoughts and language, so you can stop the self-sabotage. You can change your life because you have the power to choose more constructive thoughts. Doing this can change your life. Practice changing your negative thoughts every day and it will become the habit that creates your best life. Many can do this on their own, but others, like me, need external help. Don’t be embarrassed to seek out a coach or counselor.

Going through a difficult life transition?

You might benefit from reading my latest book, Catch and Release: One Man’s Improbable Search for True Love and the Meaning of Life. It is my story about starting life over again. Download a PDF of the first 5 chapters of Catch and Release for free.  To order your inscribed copy in either hardcover or paperback, click here ( Catch and Release is also available on Kindle here ( You can also subscribe to my free weekly newsletter on my website and receive motivation and encouragement to help you on your way to recovery.

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