Would You Trade for Another’s Life If You Had the Chance? 

Would You Trade for Another’s Life If You Had the Chance? 

Jim Nolan, my best friend from college died in his early fifties from cancer of the esophagus. Jim was a dear friend and the two of us shared many experiences that brought us closer. We graduated from the same civil Engineering Class at the University of Colorado and moved together to Los Angeles to work for the same engineering company. Within a year, we returned to Colorado to work for another. After several years, Jim left the company to work for the Colorado Department of Transportation. I followed him there six months later. We even moved to the same neighborhood and carpooled to work.

read more
Nothing in the Universe Goes Backward, You Included 

Nothing in the Universe Goes Backward, You Included 

Historians credit author Thomas Wolfe for coming up with the expression, “You can’t go home again”. Although this was the title of his book, many people have used this idiom to describe the notion that you cannot return to the way things were.

read more
Friends Are like Family Members You Get to Choose

Friends Are like Family Members You Get to Choose

Our society teaches us that family always comes first. This is so ingrained in us we are shocked when some of the people next to us behave like scumbags. Unfortunately, this is a fact of life, for we didn’t get to choose our family members. As author Harper Lee aptly stated in To Kill a Mockingbird,
“You can choose your friends, but you sho’ can’t choose your family” 

read more
You Were Not Meant for Everybody Nor Was Everyone Meant for You 

You Were Not Meant for Everybody Nor Was Everyone Meant for You 

It is very difficult for people pleasers, like me, to accept the concept we were not meant for everyone nor was everyone meant for us. The reason for this is that people pleasers get our sense of worth from the approval of others. I learned, however, that, no matter how hard I try, there are people who dislike me simply for taking my share of oxygen from the planet.

read more
Your Purpose is Not Defined by Titles and Achievements

Your Purpose is Not Defined by Titles and Achievements

Even if you assume we are just one of countless microcosms in the Universe, nature shows you daily that even the smallest organism has a purpose. Let’s take the human body as an example. Scientist have proven that your body replaces every cell roughly every seven years.

read more
How Negativity Makes Your Life Suck

How Negativity Makes Your Life Suck

One of my all-time favorite characters on Saturday Night Live was Debbie Downer. Comedian Rachel Dratch played this fictional character in several SNL skits and she was hilarious.

read more
Are Humans Here in Search of a Corporeal or Spiritual Experience?

Are Humans Here in Search of a Corporeal or Spiritual Experience?

Not too long ago, a movie came out based on a book by Garth Stein titled, The Art of Racing in the Rain. The story’s main character, a dog named Enzo, narrates the story. According to Enzo, the canine existence is an apprenticeship to becoming human. If the dog finishes their years having evolved enough, they will return to a new life as humans.

read more
To Cherish Life, One Must Feel Gratitude for All of It

To Cherish Life, One Must Feel Gratitude for All of It

It is rare to find a person who does not wish to go back in time and change events that happened. They must already know what has taken me a lifetime to learn; it would not do much good, for if we changed our experiences, we would not be the persons we are today.

read more
In Order to Overcome Our Challenges, Having Courage is Overrated

In Order to Overcome Our Challenges, Having Courage is Overrated

Hurricane season in Florida is always nervy, especially when the expected development of a mounting storm becomes the centerpiece of media reports. Make no mistake, hurricanes need to be taken seriously. The devastation they leave in their wake is often beyond human understanding. Puerto Rico and the Bahamas are recent examples of the kind of horrible devastation a hurricane leaves behind. These areas deserve our help and attention, for it will take decades for these wonderful places to fully recover. However, hurricanes can teach us a lot about life.

read more
Life Purpose Becomes More Powerful as You Mature

Life Purpose Becomes More Powerful as You Mature

It is common to believe we were all wired to be something special, but is it just one thing for every lifetime? Is this special something connected to career or accumulating worth? These two questions are worth pondering, especially since as parents, teachers and mentors, we will teach new minds who come after us about how to find their life’s meaning. 

read more
Don’t Let Anyone Douse Your Passion for Life

Don’t Let Anyone Douse Your Passion for Life

Ok, maybe my headline is a little over the top, but I know we all have love hate relationship with our doctors. They are the bearers of bad news, for we all know they will deliver the news we are going to die someday. My real purpose was to get to divert your attention to this important message; we should focus our lives on living, not on dying.

read more
It is Useless to Work Against the Speed the Universe Gives You

It is Useless to Work Against the Speed the Universe Gives You

Until a few years ago, I believed being patient was for losers; winners made their own way. The proverb, “where there is a will, there is a way” had me convinced that—if I wanted something bad enough—I had to rely on my willpower to make things happen exactly as I wanted and in my timing. From my vantage point, this is what successful people did, they made things happen, obstacles be damned.

read more
Is it Too Late to Find Love After 50 and Beyond?

Is it Too Late to Find Love After 50 and Beyond?

It is a sign of the times that divorce continues to be at the highest rates ever. Some perceive this as a bad thing, as the end of a long-term relationship can leave a person feeling alone and discouraged. But, like every life challenge that crosses each path, the end of one love can lead to the beginning of an even fuller and more fulfilling relationship.

read more
Anger is too Bulky and Ugly a Load to Carry Well 

Anger is too Bulky and Ugly a Load to Carry Well 

We hear a lot about how everyone being angry about something these days. This is hard to disagree with when you consider all the instances of violence, fear-mongering and destructive political discord manifesting themselves in our society.

read more
Any Action Made with Intention is Better Than no Action

Any Action Made with Intention is Better Than no Action

Every decision we make in life has its own consequences. Every action we take or avoid taking brings its own challenges and struggles. If you deem procrastinating has no consequences, you are mistaken. The best step on the road to achieving your goals is to take action, no matter how small, to make them come true.

read more
As you Grow, You Become a More Beautiful Expression of Life

As you Grow, You Become a More Beautiful Expression of Life

We use the phrase “you are perfect just as you are” as a way to express appreciation for others. But it is wrong to think we are perfect. Perfection is an illusion, it has no definition, it is not an image fixed in time. The fact is we are always changing and evolving. Telling someone they are perfect just as they are belittles the self-reflection they need to continue seeking their most authentic self.

read more
Do You Need a Love Partner to Live a Successful and Meaningful Life?

Do You Need a Love Partner to Live a Successful and Meaningful Life?

There was a time when propagating our species was the highest priority. To do so, one needed a mate to create families, which made having a love partner very important. That may not be the case today, for we can all see we have bred humans to beat the band. Although some would argue this, I believe our human species today must adopt a new priority; that of self-actualization. This has been coming since enlightened humans (Christ, Buddha, Muhammed, to name a few) opened our minds to life’s spiritual realm and changed the world as much as science and technology.

read more
Make Pleasing Yourself Your Highest Priority

Make Pleasing Yourself Your Highest Priority

In his book, An Audience of One: Reclaiming Creativity for Its Own Sake, Srinivas Rao states,“Work for an audience of one. When the only person you are trying to please is yourself, judgements vanish, and in that process we become more present.”

read more
You Are Everything You Think You Are

You Are Everything You Think You Are

We misunderstand the power of the mind to create our reality. This is apparent from the way people use affirmations as though they were wishes someone out there can fulfill. I think the use of affirmations is important, but I don’t trust repeating them daily can get you a million dollars or a date with Halle Berry. Mind you, believing you can get these things is better than not, but I don’t think just wishing for them provides any guarantee.

read more
You Are Always on the Verge of Greatness

You Are Always on the Verge of Greatness

There is a myriad of sayings about age that are frequently used in American culture. Their seeming purpose is to make us feel better about growing older. Here is a small sampling;

“You are only as old as you feel.”

“Age is just a number.”

“Wrinkles are traces of where our smiles have been.”

“Old age is a lot better than the alternative.”

“He/she is —– years young.”

read more
Dating Advice for People Over Fifty

Dating Advice for People Over Fifty

A few days ago, a friend and I were reminiscing about our lives when our conversation turned to our dating adventures. After some heartfelt belly laughs, we both delineated the many mistakes we have made in search for a romantic partner. I wanted to share them with you. Although I present my perspective from the male point of view, I think this advice is good for women, at least it will help shed some light on the pressures we all face.  

read more
We Can Find Contentment in How We Manage Adversity

We Can Find Contentment in How We Manage Adversity

A news show I was listening to proposed the idea that the nation needs a particular candidate as president because he knows loss and pain. Perhaps I misunderstood what they meant, but I don’t think this is correct. By all means, we need leaders who struggled in life and have suffered, but that is not enough. While we all suffer different degrees of stress and anxiety in life, we don’t need a consoler-in chief; we need someone who can help bring us together. This cannot be achieved by someone reminding us of what pain and suffering is like, leaders who envision what the triumph over suffering will be like for all of us are the ones who can unite us.

read more
It May Seem Like It, But the World is not Really Ending

It May Seem Like It, But the World is not Really Ending

Another mass shooting, missile launched, high profile controversy, along with all the assorted bad news we hear so often and it is easy to believe we are spiraling the world into oblivion. As an immigrant child who was separated from my parents by Castro”s Revolution when I was ten, news about raids on immigrants, the crisis in the southern border and the separation of children from their families leave me feeling depressed. My heart aches every time I see pictures and videos of the empty and sad faces of children in American internment camps. This experience of family separation that saw me start life over in an orphanage in a country where I didn’t know the language is by far the greatest trauma I have ever survived.

read more
You Don’t Have Any Birthdays to Waste

You Don’t Have Any Birthdays to Waste

A few weeks have gone by since two of my greatest childhood idols, John Havlicek and Bart Starr, passed away. I mourn their losses and thank them both for the thrills they brought into my life. Who can ever forget Bart Starr leading his Green Bay Packers to victory against Dallas in the “Ice Bowl”, one of the greatest football games of all times? John Havlicek won eight NBA championships during his sixteen-year career with the Boston Celtics.

read more
Six Perplexing Things You Must Understand About life

Six Perplexing Things You Must Understand About life

My parents were batshit crazy. It wasn’t so much that they had faults, every human has them, it was that their marital union blended their failings into a cocktail of emotional and psychological poison. As you read this article, make no mistake, I am grateful for them and how they helped shape the person I am today, but it was no picnic. 

read more
What to do When a Family Member Betrays You

What to do When a Family Member Betrays You

Game of Thrones and human history have one thing in common; life is just one damn thing after another. But there is one other thing that may not seem so obvious; they both contain a lot of episodes about family members betraying one another. The fact is that “blood is not thicker than water” as the adage proclaims. Being related by blood is not the strongest human bond there is. 

read more
Living a Happy Life Amidst the Negativity Surrounding You

Living a Happy Life Amidst the Negativity Surrounding You

Although you may not know of it, you are being influenced by many negative forces. This is more prevalent than you think. It is in books, TV Programs, the workplace, church, your favorite sporting venue, etc. It is even there when you engage in gossip about others.

read more
You Cannot Make Another Love You

You Cannot Make Another Love You

Nothing in life is guaranteed, especially when it comes to being loved by someone else. This can apply to anyone who surrounds you, be it mother, father, sibling or lover, their love for you is not automatic. For that matter, it may never be.

read more
Easy to Love Our Desired Outcomes, but not the Process to Get Them

Easy to Love Our Desired Outcomes, but not the Process to Get Them

The day we stop having dreams is the day we stop living. Dreams can motivate us to become better people or to accomplish greater things. Having a vision for the future separates the human species from the rest of the animal kingdom. Dreaming, therefore, is an essential gift a Higher Consciousness gave us as part of our creation.

read more
What Dancing Salsa is Teaching Me About Life

What Dancing Salsa is Teaching Me About Life

Some of the best salseros (salsa dancers) in the world come from the Caribbean Island I call home, Cuba. During my two return visits to Cuba—in 2001 and 2016, forty years after my parents sent me fleeing Castro’s Revolution to the United States—this joyful and sensuous type of dancing was still front and center in Cuban culture. Like baseball (beisbol), salsa rhythms are part of every Cuban’s DNA (or so I am told).

read more
Reconfiguring Life After a Major Loss

Reconfiguring Life After a Major Loss

Major losses spare no one in this world.  I am reminded of this by my children who lost their mother to Early-Onset Alzheimer’s disease a few days ago.

read more
Unsolicited “Constructive Criticism” is Pretty Worthless

Unsolicited “Constructive Criticism” is Pretty Worthless

Most people believe we can always do better. This may seem like an honorable and humble attitude to have, but it is a pronouncement that is too open-ended by which to judge our efforts. We can be better according to whom, or based on what standard? Unfortunately, there are many people willing to define better for us, and we make the mistake of letting them affect our actions.

read more
One Thing You Can Do Daily to Guarantee Greater Joy in Your Life

One Thing You Can Do Daily to Guarantee Greater Joy in Your Life

When I reflect on my life, the proof is irrefutable; even the most painful events introduced a benefit that helped shape me into who I truly am. I will not experience again the same level of emotional pain I suffered the day I saw my parents disappear into the horizon as the plane I was on sped towards Miami from Havana, Cuba. Starting my American life as an orphan in a Colorado orphanage was rough. Yet, this event catapulted my life into the miracle of hope and opportunity it is today.

read more
It is What You Do in the Meantime that Matters

It is What You Do in the Meantime that Matters

I’ve seen enough to have lost my fear of death. This wasn’t always the case. During my twenties and thirties, I thought I would live forever, but losing loved ones along the way changed all of that. I began realizing my mortality then, but not embracing it. That has taken me till now to do.

read more
Finding Love in all the Right Places

Finding Love in all the Right Places

It did not take me long to find inspirational topics to write about during my recent visit to Spain. The first thing that caught my eye was a sign in the corner of a small tapas restaurant in Madrid. It contained this quote from Mexican painter Frida Kahlo,

read more
Creating a Reality You Want Does not Mean You Get Everything Desired

Creating a Reality You Want Does not Mean You Get Everything Desired

Former Pennsylvania congressman Joe Sestak just became the 24th candidate in the crowded field of those seeking the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination. This large number of candidates has become the fodder for ridicule, especially by late night show comedians, but this is a serious matter. Deciding to run a national campaign for president is no easy task, and you can bet all 24 candidates will put all of their heart, soul and sweat into this effort.

read more
Does Failing Mean You Were Not Trying Hard Enough?

Does Failing Mean You Were Not Trying Hard Enough?

There is probably no single person alive in America today (and perhaps the world) who has not heard the advice, “whatever you do, always give it your best.” I grew up convinced of this. It sounded like good advice, even noble and admirable. We should always give our best effort, I figured, but this was easier said than done, for there is no real definition for “best effort”.

read more
What Does it Mean to Find Your Life Purpose?

What Does it Mean to Find Your Life Purpose?

We hear from many sources (myself included) that we were not created by accident, for we came into this world with a purpose the world needs. So, does this mean you have some special job or assignment someone gave you to fulfill? Are your life circumstances and fate aligning to get you to that incredible mission that will save the world? Or, is your life purpose the ability to find your find and pursue your passions and do good with them, whatever they may be?

read more
When Was the Last time You Did Something Scary? 

When Was the Last time You Did Something Scary? 

Society encourages to use caution at the expense of curiosity. Our teachers, parents and mentors were not trying to do us harm with these instructions, this is what someone taught them. But these directives convinced us it is bad to make a mistake or to get lost wondering what to do next. Yet, this is a necessary aspect of the human condition. It is through facing challenges we grow.

read more
Eight Signs that It is Time to Make Changes in Your Life

Eight Signs that It is Time to Make Changes in Your Life

If you have been around the block a few times, like I have, then you have experienced some form of spiritual restlessness. I remember how scared I got the first time I experienced this kind of anxiety because it came so unexpectedly. For years I had been tailoring my life to the expectations of my mentors, but the emptiness began to feel inside slowly overtook my consciousness. 

read more
Every Failure Brings You Closer to Your Dreams

Every Failure Brings You Closer to Your Dreams

The National Basketball Association (NBA) playoffs has kept me glued to the television these past few weeks. While watching my Denver Nuggets lose to Portland in a seventh game of a seven-game series, I witnessed an interesting commercial with Klay Thompson of the Golden State Warriors which offered the inspiration for this blog.

read more
What Groundhog Day (the Movie) Says About Life

What Groundhog Day (the Movie) Says About Life

I believe life is a series of lessons we are to learn before we leave our earthly existence. We repeat them until they enlighten us with a new wisdom that allows us to move to the next level.

read more
Mystical Experiences, Orbs, Apparitions and Me

Mystical Experiences, Orbs, Apparitions and Me

The dove pictured here showed up on the deck outside my office and lingered for such a long time I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a spiritual message involved with his/her appearance. Dutifully, I googled the symbolism for this creature. The consensus among various authors was that they equated doves with heavenly visitations. 

read more
Is Today’s Evil in the World Justified by a Higher Power?

Is Today’s Evil in the World Justified by a Higher Power?

Some friends challenged my spiritual beliefs at a recent get-together. Their point was this; if every experience has purpose—as I claim—then it is implied a Higher Power justifies evil with his/her desire to use it to develop our species.

read more
The Real Power Bootlickers Are After

The Real Power Bootlickers Are After

The presence of bullies in our culture has become an epidemic. No matter where you look, whether in government, business, schools, religion, social media and even in families, there are examples of someone who feels powerful by habitually seeking to harm or intimidate those he/she perceives as vulnerable. 

read more
I Hate to Admit it, but Sometimes it is Hard for Me to Follow My Advice

I Hate to Admit it, but Sometimes it is Hard for Me to Follow My Advice

It sucks to have to wait for an outcome you desire to materialize. No amount of belief in the Law of Attraction can make something appear in your preferred timing. When things don’t happen for me in the timing I desire, I waver on my belief we connected with the Higher Consciousness/God/Universe that is a part of all creation.

read more
Before I Die, I Want To……..

Before I Die, I Want To……..

Making a bucket list is a popular and necessary thing to do. It is important to have goals and dreams in life for, no matter your age, there is a limit to our time on earth. Many put these lists together, but the items don’t get done. The usual excuses for postponing action are, being too busy, waiting for a better time, needing more money. But the real excuse is fear. It petrifies us to live boldly, to operate in the present moment because we might disappoint those we want to impress.

read more
The Power of Saying Yes

The Power of Saying Yes

It is important in life to take risks and explore new ways of thinking and feeling. This is especially true when you are beginning on a new leg of your life journey. During these kinds of periods in my life, I adopted a policy of saying “yes” to all invitations. I call accepting all invitations as doing the Desperado, a name I confiscated from my friend Suzanne who uses it to describe saying yes to everything. 

read more
You Have to Buy a Ticket

You Have to Buy a Ticket

There is a story about a man who—for twenty years and counting—prayed daily to win the lottery. He asked God on his hands and knees before every...

read more
Men Are not Emasculated When Embracing Their Female Side  

Men Are not Emasculated When Embracing Their Female Side  

Men seem afraid of their female side. We seem to have a cultural aversion to being seen as wimpy or gay if you embrace the side that has traits associated with women. My good friend expresses this apprehension in the way he jokes about being in touch with his feminine side. He likes to say;“I embrace the woman inside of me and, thankfully, she is a lesbian.”

read more
Is It Safe to Reveal Your True Self to Others?

Is It Safe to Reveal Your True Self to Others?

I have been pondering this question ever since an old memory of a warning my father had given me long ago came up during my meditation time. His words of caution were thus;“Never reveal who you are to others for they will use that information against you.”

read more
People Are Doing the Best They Know How

People Are Doing the Best They Know How

One of the most difficult concepts to understand is that people—no matter how evil or unethical you think they are—are doing the best they can. Yet, it is factually true, because, just like us, they have been shaped by the environment they were born into and the people and experiences that have come into their lives.

read more
We Have the Right to Do What We Want, but It is not Always Easy to Do

We Have the Right to Do What We Want, but It is not Always Easy to Do

A muscular young man at my gym the other day gave me the inspiration for this blog. He was wearing a muscle shirt that allowed him to display the carpet tattoos covering both arms. They were beautiful, intricate and colorful. The combination of good looks and tattoos elicited the attention of most gym rats in the place.

read more
Putting a Label on Another is the Same as Rejecting Them

Putting a Label on Another is the Same as Rejecting Them

What is your favorite label to put on people? Epithets like redneck, communist, socialist, asshole, lowlife, uneducated, high-maintenance and loudmouthed are common ones I hear. There are others that don’t seem so offensive but put boundaries around the targeted person’s character; blue collar, conservative, liberal, progressive or overly religious. When we label others, we unfairly restrict them to this description.

read more
The Hidden Danger in Asking Others for Advice 

The Hidden Danger in Asking Others for Advice 

To seek advice from experts is a necessary part of learning new skills or information. It would not be very prudent to ignore the advice of a doctor, carpenter, architect, nutritionist, etc. if you need to get something done in any of these areas. But it is a different story altogether when you are seeking life advice for, depending on who you ask, you may not get something useful.

read more
Pain and Hopelessness Open the Way for Your Authentic Self

Pain and Hopelessness Open the Way for Your Authentic Self

The worst day of my life happened on September 29, 1961. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. This was the day my parents put my brothers and I on an airplane from Havana, Cuba to Miami, Florida as part of a program called Operation Peter Pan.  

read more
Explain How You Came to that Opinion

Explain How You Came to that Opinion

Have you lost hope we can bridge our country’s divide that is pitting political ideologies with one another? I have not, but I believe we need to do something different to create unity; we must listen and understand what those who differ have to say. 

read more
The More Minds Unite, the More They Create the Intended Purpose

The More Minds Unite, the More They Create the Intended Purpose

Just like negative thinking can create undesirable outcomes, positive thinking can create optimistic ones. Our thoughts do matter, and we can use them to create the reality we want. However, we were not taught to believe we could make the life we wanted. We were told instead that our talents limited us or that we belonged in some world pecking order. We were taught to conform to the norms of society and limit ourselves to what our five senses perceive.  But that is too restrictive for there is a real world of thought, spirit and of creation.

read more
Is Lying Ever Acceptable?

Is Lying Ever Acceptable?

The most important aspect of building a solid house is how you construct the foundation. Educated as a structural engineer, I learned that a house...

read more
The Wisdom in Indiana Jones’ Search for the Holy Grail 

The Wisdom in Indiana Jones’ Search for the Holy Grail 

Of all the great Indiana Jones movies made, my favorite one is Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The plot has Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) racing to rescue his father, Doctor Henry Jones (Sean Connery) from the Nazis to find the Holy Grail, the cup Christ used during the Last Supper.

read more
Why Take on a Creative Endeavor if it Doesn’t Make Money? 

Why Take on a Creative Endeavor if it Doesn’t Make Money? 

Our efforts to make money and become financially independent correspond to the most important societal value of American society. We often conclude that efforts that don’t make money belong to adolescents or retired people. If doesn’t pay, then it must be play!

read more
Life Lessons I Learned from the Itsy-Bitsy Spider 

Life Lessons I Learned from the Itsy-Bitsy Spider 

While walking on the boardwalk that connects my townhome with nine others, I stopped to watch a spider busily building a magnificent web. Then the wind picked up and blew the web back and forth like it was a trampoline. A few minutes later, I saw the web blown into oblivion and I was sure the spider had flown with it. The next day, I was amazed me to see the spider reconstructing a new masterpiece.

read more
Sometimes I Miss My Old Self

Sometimes I Miss My Old Self

There was a time when I was certain I had it all together. My old self, or ego, ruled my life with what appeared to be a reliable set of rules and beliefs forged out of my many experiences. My life worked pretty well then, and I loved and revered my ego’s beliefs. They were welcoming, reassuring and reliable, until one day when they were not.

read more
Is Your Higher Calling Hidden from You?

Is Your Higher Calling Hidden from You?

Serving as manager of public works for the City of Denver was one of the most challenging jobs I ever held. Among the myriad of responsibilities, I was in charge of the Waste Management Branch. These are the folks who picked up the trash and recycling citywide.

read more
Four Signs that Point to the Completion of a Life Transition

Four Signs that Point to the Completion of a Life Transition

People who provide wisdom about getting through life’s challenges focus on how to endure the pain of loss and change. This is valuable advice, but there is not much out there about reaching the end of a difficult life transition. Knowing you are near the end is important because it gives you hope life is not only normalizing, but actually getting better.

read more
So What if You Never Have a Romantic Partner Again

So What if You Never Have a Romantic Partner Again

Anyone who has survived a breakup, divorce or lost a loved one has wondered if they will ever again have a romantic partner. The confusion, self-doubt and lack of clarity for the future experienced during these times generates a lot of anxiety about our ability to attract a partner.

read more
When Someone is Shooting Arrows, Don’t Catch Them and Stick Them in Yourself

When Someone is Shooting Arrows, Don’t Catch Them and Stick Them in Yourself

I learned throughout my thirty-seven-year stint in government service there are people walking around with pent up rage ready to explode at any moment. They sling their verbal arrows at any target. You catch these words and stick them into yourself when you take them personally and react. If you can detach, you can see these words were never meant for you.

read more
How To Overcome the Damage of a Troubled Childhood

How To Overcome the Damage of a Troubled Childhood

I could have titled this piece “How to forgive your abusers”, but I think surviving a troubled childhood is about a lot more than forgiving those who made you suffer. It is about understanding how a troubled childhood has affected your life and kept you from becoming the best you were meant to be.

read more
Where Does One Go to Find Ourselves?

Where Does One Go to Find Ourselves?

We know where to get our problems fixed. You take a toothache to a dentist, cold to a doctor, sore back to a chiropractor. We get a massage to help us loosen up and relax. Dieticians give us advice on what to eat. Many have ready lists ranging from plumbers to mechanics to deal with the myriad of external problems that can be present in our lives. It is interesting to see how decidedly we act to fix a leaky faucet yet ignore the spiritual signs we lost ourselves. 

read more
When Surrounded by Darkness, You Must Learn to Shine Your Light

When Surrounded by Darkness, You Must Learn to Shine Your Light

Light and darkness struggle with each other throughout our lives. We can see this battle played out in family relationships, romantic partnerships, the workplace, community, nation and the world. Sometimes this fight can be so fierce that it can leave you feeling powerless and overwhelmed. But, even in the difficulty of living through oppressive and abusive times, we must choose the path of light so that the darkness does not crush our spirit.

read more
Does “Fake it Until You Make it” Really Work?

Does “Fake it Until You Make it” Really Work?

Neuroscientists have discovered that your thoughts create your reality. This is easy to understand when you realize that you created your current life based on what you believe about yourself and the world.

read more
Stop People Pleasing Your Life Away into Oblivion

Stop People Pleasing Your Life Away into Oblivion

We often think of an addiction as an illness related to substance dependency, but it is much more than that. A type of behavior can also be an addictive, like a sexual addiction or being a workaholic. In simple terms, an addiction is a coping mechanism your ego helped you establish so you could feel better or to handle stress or suffering.

read more
You Can Manifest the Reality You Want

You Can Manifest the Reality You Want

I love the stories about genies and magic lamps. Imagine having the ability to rub a magic lamp and have a genie appear to grant all of your wishes. This great fantasy has a ring of truth to it, except there are no magic lamps to rub; you are the genie with the power to grant your wishes.

read more
It is our Moral Duty to Make Things Better

It is our Moral Duty to Make Things Better

These are the words of the fifteen-year-old Greta Thunberg who has been protesting on the steps of the Swedish parliament building for the past month. She is demanding a radical change of government policy to help reverse the trends of climate change.

read more
Why It is Important to Follow Your Heart Wherever It Takes You

Why It is Important to Follow Your Heart Wherever It Takes You

Although we have been getting heart messages from the time we were born, it is difficult for most of us to understand it means to follow your heart. We are so accustomed to getting our cues to happiness from external sources we have lost touch with our inner urgings.

read more
How to Roll with Life’s Punches

How to Roll with Life’s Punches

This phrase is a boxing term used to explain how a fighter can angle themselves in a way that takes the sting out of the opponent’s blow. In...

read more
How to Delight in the Wrinkles on Your Face

How to Delight in the Wrinkles on Your Face

Botox and cosmetic fillers are all the rage these days to get rid of wrinkles. This is the inevitable outcome of our societal definition of beauty. Youth is beautiful and showing your age is not. Middle-aged people spend billions to fight back the ravages of growing old. 

read more
The American Dream You are Chasing is a Hoax

The American Dream You are Chasing is a Hoax

From the moment you were born, the surrounding people—parents, siblings, teachers, extended family—have been helping to mold you into a member of society. This is not a bad thing, for had our ancestors from the Stone Age not formed societies, our species would not have survived. These early efforts proved that the good of the whole was greater than the sum of the good of individual parts.

read more
The Media is not the Enemy of the People, but Here is How It is Failing Us

The Media is not the Enemy of the People, but Here is How It is Failing Us

Early in my thirty-six plus years career in government, my bosses sent an intensive training class on how to deal with the media. One lesson from this course still resonates with me today because it is so relevant to the state of media affairs. The instructors presented this lesson in the form of a metaphor to help illustrate how news outlets decide whether to report on a story. 

read more
Repeating Lies Does not Make them True

Repeating Lies Does not Make them True

We have all grown up with certain negative beliefs about ourselves. Some of us think we are flawed, unworthy of love and never good enough. Life has reinforced these opinions until they convinced us they are true, but they are not. They are self lies we mindlessly repeat, and they became the foundational pillars where we base our current lives. Although they are not real, these lies have taken you away from your true center and they are sabotaging the joy right out of your life.  

read more
If Your Life has Become an Unthinking Routine, it is Time to Make Changes

If Your Life has Become an Unthinking Routine, it is Time to Make Changes

I am all set to move to from my current home to another town all the way across Florida. For as far back as I can remember, I have dreaded moving, for it can resurface the feelings of fear and abandonment I experienced on the day my parents put me on a plane bound for the USA seeking political asylum. I was a ten-years-old then, but the memories still linger as though this happened an hour ago. 

read more
An Eye for an Eye and a Tooth for a Tooth is the Dumbest Advice I Ever Got

An Eye for an Eye and a Tooth for a Tooth is the Dumbest Advice I Ever Got

Nothing damages our psyche more profoundly than the betrayal, abuse, humiliation, larceny and abandonment from the people in our lives. These can be life changing traumas that can affect us for years. The unbearable pain you feel can lead you to anger and to want to get even with those who hurt you, but I have found that it is not wise to pursue revenge.

read more
Five Things You Can do Today to Help You Live Your Best Life

Five Things You Can do Today to Help You Live Your Best Life

Are you living your best life today or are you waiting for some miracle to make that happen? Chances are you are reading this because you are traveling on a life path you never picked. This is not uncommon, for most people are living an unconscious life where they don’t know what they want.

read more
Life Changes are Inevitable. Here are Five Ways to Help the Accompanying Fear and Pain Transform You

Life Changes are Inevitable. Here are Five Ways to Help the Accompanying Fear and Pain Transform You

I am a sucker for scary shows. I’m not talking about the gore fest like in The Saw movies, I am referring to the mind-bending stories you think imitate real life. One of these movies is Silence of the Lambs. Actor Anthony Hopkins is terrifying as Hannibal Lecter. I have watched this movie more than a dozen times and every viewing has given me the same chills as the first time (I have no explanation as to why I continue to frighten myself watching this movie).

read more
How You Answer this Question Can Help You Determine Your Level of Crazy.

How You Answer this Question Can Help You Determine Your Level of Crazy.

They credit Albert Einstein for saying,

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Although perhaps this is too simple a definition for such a serious mental illness, it describes the irrational trap we humans fall into when confronted with life challenges.

read more
How I Lost My Life but Lived to Tell the Story

How I Lost My Life but Lived to Tell the Story

From the day we entered this earth, we have all been taking part in our life’s cycle of death and rebirth. Several weeks ago, Dr. Christine Bradstreet, a blogging friend, showed this universal phenomenon when she wrote about how she rose from the ashes of a difficult childhood to discover God, true love and a life purpose of giving others the love and support missed out on as a child. She challenged a few of us to do the same so that our readers might see how the loss of our old lives plants the seeds of our resurrection. It is true, you can survive an ending and live to tell the story.

read more
It Makes no Sense to Rush Armageddon, Work Instead to Create a Better World

It Makes no Sense to Rush Armageddon, Work Instead to Create a Better World

Apocalyptic stories are all the rage again in our culture. The popularity of shows like The Walking Dead and The Handmaid’s Tale provide ample proof. There have always been stories about the world’s end. I grew up in the sixties with novels like On the Beach and Fail Safe that were popular when the fear of nuclear annihilation was at its zenith. A few years ago, movies 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow projected what could happen if humans do nothing about global warming. The Terminator movies (my favorites! Home of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s immortal line, “come with me if you want to live!”) take a fatal bent on our reliance on technology.

read more
Being Alone Does Not Mean You Have to Be Lonely 

Being Alone Does Not Mean You Have to Be Lonely 

Having spent these past three years living alone, I have come to terms with the difference between being alone and being lonely. Although they can be related, they are not the same. While we are unable to control or change the factors that led to us being alone, we don’t have to choose feeling lonely when people are not around. This is an important distinction to make if you want to live a fulfilling life even when you find yourself alone.

read more
I Was Forcibly Separated From my Parents as a Child, Here is How This Impacted My Life

I Was Forcibly Separated From my Parents as a Child, Here is How This Impacted My Life

Every parent dreams of giving their children a better life. This desire is not just based on love for our offspring, if you have experienced setbacks—who hasn’t—you know life can bring you to your knees, so you want to spare your children from experiencing a similar fate. Yet, no matter how hard we try, we cannot protect our kids from the pain that comes from trauma.

read more
The Four Characteristics that Assure the Quality of a Leader

The Four Characteristics that Assure the Quality of a Leader

No matter how much we wish it, power, fame, money, status or an important title do not make leaders. Since I have never heard of an instance where god descended from heaven to anoint a leader, at least not in my lifetime, then we must have a way we can use to identify them ourselves. Looking for these four characteristics do that for me.

read more
I Am Not Afraid of Dying, but I do Fear not Living as I Was Meant To Live

I Am Not Afraid of Dying, but I do Fear not Living as I Was Meant To Live

My mother was the last remaining member of my family from her generation. Her death a year ago Christmas Eve was another reminder that my turn is coming. I know no one will survive this journey, but that doesn’t bother me anymore, for I made peace long ago with the fact that my days will end (hopefully not for quite a while yet).

read more
The Older I Get, the Stronger the Desire to Find My Tribe. Here Are Eleven Signs to Help You Discover Yours

The Older I Get, the Stronger the Desire to Find My Tribe. Here Are Eleven Signs to Help You Discover Yours

Unless you have been living in isolation from people in some monastery hidden in Nepal, the rest of us know there are people in this world we don’t belong with. Nobody warned us about this when we were young. In fact, someone taught us the opposite. My parents taught me as a child to respect and obey adults and I took this value with me throughout the years.

read more
Why You Should Do What You Love Even if Money and Fame Do not Follow.

Why You Should Do What You Love Even if Money and Fame Do not Follow.

I have lost count of how many versions of “do what you love, and the money will follow” I have seen. Many modern self-help gurus make this promise to convince us to do what we love to do. Some insist that we take daily steps in that direction, like writing your goals on a journal, repeating affirmations and praying to god to grant our desires.

read more
Love is the Mightiest Force in the World, Here Are Five Ways to Experience Its Power

Love is the Mightiest Force in the World, Here Are Five Ways to Experience Its Power

Love is the most overused word in our language. We use love with the same reckless abandon we reserve for other four-letter words. Because love has been used to describe how we feel about everything, we lessened its meaning; to sense a strong or constant affection for another person or group. Here are some examples, we love a television show, or tacos or our hometown football team. We love our home, our car, and our office. We love sunsets, the mountains and the beach. We even love beer and hotdogs.

read more
Yes, You Too Can Be a Superhero

Yes, You Too Can Be a Superhero

The rising popularity of superheroes in our culture caused me to wonder if every individual possesses a super power of their own. Although Batman and Wonder Woman will only recruit a handful to join the Justice League, the rest of us possess a powerful talent that is worth noting.

read more
Five Surefire Ways that Will Rekindle Your Compassion Towards Those Less Fortunate. 

Five Surefire Ways that Will Rekindle Your Compassion Towards Those Less Fortunate. 

One of the greatest qualities we possess as human beings is our concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. They call this compassion and it motivates us to help those who are experiencing physical, mental or emotional pains. Compassion is the fuel for generosity, kindness and love of our neighbor. It has also kept us from destroying one another (so far, anyway).

read more
Stand UP for What is Right In Times of Chaos and Confusion

Stand UP for What is Right In Times of Chaos and Confusion

There is a lot of talk these days about the tribalism and political polarization that has taken over our public discourse. Nothing seems possible with such hatred for the other side. America is suffering an identity crisis. We seem to have lost focus on the values we once held dear and we struggle to common ground with one another.

read more
Even the Mightiest Tyrants in Today’s World Have no Power Over You

Even the Mightiest Tyrants in Today’s World Have no Power Over You

It is very difficult to ignore the feelings of helplessness that percolate inside when we look at what is happening in our world. Democracy seems to be waning under the boots of tyrants who seem to control all power and can destroy millions at the snap of their fingers. The bad guys seem to be winning and, any day now, we may become pawns at their mercy.

read more
Three Reasons Why Disappointments are a Blessing in Your Life

Three Reasons Why Disappointments are a Blessing in Your Life

I am sure you have experienced the pain of disappointment. An unexpected circumstance threw a wrench into your well-laid plans and caused you to fail. If you are willing to look beyond your sorrow, you will find that disappointments can be the key to greater rewards. 

read more
When You Light the Candle of Your Soul, Others Will Also Be Able to See

When You Light the Candle of Your Soul, Others Will Also Be Able to See

I remember my time as a member of my high school debate team. The premise for the competitions was simple. Officials choose yearly the topic for discussion. It usually involved a current international policy. Schools submitted several two-person teams to debate the topic with each other in sponsored tournaments. Teams were required to research both sides of the issue to be ready to argue its pros and cons in front of a tournament judge who would decide the winner. By random selection, one team was assigned the pro position and the other team the con. The judge would determine the winner.

read more
Doing These Five Things Will Guarantee You a More Fulfilling Life

Doing These Five Things Will Guarantee You a More Fulfilling Life

I read a bumper sticker the other day that said, “Aging is not for sissies”, and I wondered why we look at aging with such a jaundiced eye. Growing old is a natural and necessary part of life. Since the day we were born, we have been participating in the slow death march all human beings have taken since time began. It doesn’t take toughness to age, it happens automatically and we should embrace it and gather the fruits that are available at every stage of life.life makes available to us at every stage.

read more
Here Are Eight Ways a Daily Meditation Practice Improves Your Life

Here Are Eight Ways a Daily Meditation Practice Improves Your Life

If you are reading this article, chances are you have discovered that the things you were sure would make you happy are not enough to give your life the meaning you want. You are not alone; millions of people the world over are looking for better ways to find joy and fulfillment in their lives. Meditation can give you what you seek.

read more
If You Are Not Doing These Five Things to Overcome Your Negative Self Beliefs, They Will Smother the Joy Out of Your Life

If You Are Not Doing These Five Things to Overcome Your Negative Self Beliefs, They Will Smother the Joy Out of Your Life

The older I get, the more I come to terms knowing that my manifested life is ending. This is not a morbid thought at all as it should not come as a surprise to any human the age of reason that life is a journey no one survives. I still believe I have decades to go, but it is time for me to help prepare those who come after me to live more fulfilling lives. This cannot be done if you live guarding those things you fear you will lose.

read more
Why You Need to Get a Workout Buddy to Improve Your Spiritual Fitness

Why You Need to Get a Workout Buddy to Improve Your Spiritual Fitness

It is by mid-February that many of us realize we will not adopt our New Year Resolutions. This realization opens the door to frustration because we seem incapable of doing things that would be for our benefit, like loosing weight, starting an exercise routine or reduce our consumption of alcohol.

read more
Answer These Eleven Questions to Help Align Yourself with the Life You Desire

Answer These Eleven Questions to Help Align Yourself with the Life You Desire

Everyone wants to live out his or her dreams. Yet, most of us spend our lives unconsciously doing things we don’t want to do. One day we wake up and realize we wasted our lives following outdated social mores and other people’s advice that have taken us away from fulfilling our greatest potential and desires. 

read more
The Most Difficult Challenge for Leaders is Not Choosing Right over Wrong, it is Choosing Right over Right

The Most Difficult Challenge for Leaders is Not Choosing Right over Wrong, it is Choosing Right over Right

As a matter of background, I like to describe myself as a having been a “government mule”. For thirty-six years I worked for the public sector in the wonderful state of Colorado. So much of government work demands that you address daily an overburdened load of citizen’s concerns and problems. During these years, I ran a city, a department of public works and a state department of transportation. My experience in these very challenging positions taught me something I didn’t expect. The most difficult choices I had to make did not involve picking right over wrong. On the contrary, the most arduous decisions centered on choosing between two options that were inherently correct.

read more
Seven Signs You Are Experiencing a Time of Rebirth

Seven Signs You Are Experiencing a Time of Rebirth

Life transitions often catch us by surprise. When they happen we can become unnerved and disoriented, especially if we thought we were doing all the right things in our lives. They make it difficult to explain why that dream job you got five years ago has become empty and lackluster. Or, perhaps, the ideal mate that you married has inexplicably become aloof and distant and you fear a divorce is in the offing. At times like these, we become so afraid of the changes we may have to make, that we often chose the road of denial as a way to sidestep the feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction. But no amount of disavowing will allow you to escape the inevitable change that is coming into your life.

read more
Nine Lessons a Three Legged Dog is Teaching Me About Life

Nine Lessons a Three Legged Dog is Teaching Me About Life

My daughter Molly, along with her husband, Nelson, and two boys, Quintin and Bauer, love all animals. They have always made room in their home as foster parents to abandoned dogs and cats. Last year they rescued a young dog that had lost one of his hind legs after having been ran over by a car. They named him Falcore after the magic dragon in the movie Never Ending Story, Molly’s favorite movie growing up.

read more
Four Things You Can do to Have More Successful Romantic Relationships

Four Things You Can do to Have More Successful Romantic Relationships

I have never understood why the myths about finding the “one” were initiated, but they promote the idea we were born deficient in some way and must find the corresponding missing half in another. There are many popular expressions to describe that “special someone” waiting to be found. We call them soul mate, better half, kindred spirit, true love, or second self.

read more
The Problem is that American Society Promotes Violence as a Problem Solving Option

The Problem is that American Society Promotes Violence as a Problem Solving Option

Here we go again, another mass shooting and the habitual cycle of madness is off and running. When is this ever going to end? My heart goes out to the victims and families of the senseless massacre at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. I cannot fathom the grief and hopelessness this inexplicable event has promulgated on these innocent people.

read more
Jumping Too Quickly Into Bed Can Really Screw You In a Relationship

Jumping Too Quickly Into Bed Can Really Screw You In a Relationship

Last week I wrote about the illusionary phase of romantic love that I called the “bliss bubble”. Mentioned in my blog were the scientific explanations of how natural hormones and chemicals flood the bodies of two attracted mates to create a sense of wellbeing and compatibility. Today’s topic deals with how the bliss bubble can be prolonged or heightened when the lovers add sex into the mix.

read more
Love at First Sight Is Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be

Love at First Sight Is Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be

Our culture is filled with literary works proclaiming the virtues of finding that one true love. Many exalt the virtues of love at first sight as the way of knowing you have found the one. Shakespeare’s tragic play, Romeo and Juliet, come to mind. Their forbidden love began when they cast their eyes on each other. Their passions so strong that they defied all rules and sacrificed everything for each other. Yet, for as romantic the idea of love at first sight might be, the truth is more likely a reflection of the chemical/biological and emotional changes that occur in all of us when we are attracted to someone and they repay our interest with like attention.

read more
There Are No Winners or Losers When it Comes to Love, Only Learners

There Are No Winners or Losers When it Comes to Love, Only Learners

There is good reason why we take time in the middle of February to celebrate love. Being in Love with someone is an important aspect of the human condition because it allows us to connect to the deepest and most meaningful parts of our lives. Romantic unions give us our greatest chance to evolve into authentic human beings even when we fail miserably.

read more
Having Life in Your Years is What Matters, Your Age Does Not

Having Life in Your Years is What Matters, Your Age Does Not

Until I reached my sixties, I was always a pretty good basketball player. My greatest asset was my jump shot, the result of countless hours spent alone shooting hoops on nearby playgrounds and imagining i played for the Boston Celtics (Denver didn’t have an NBA team yet). I can still remember the drills I conducted; dribble, sprint, stop, jump, raise the ball above my head, launch it with a soft arch towards the rim and……swish! Then repeat; to the left, the right, down the middle…..swish, swish, swish! Every made shot always eliciting a roar from my imaginary crowd.

read more
Doing For The Least Among Us is Essential For Advancing the Human Species

Doing For The Least Among Us is Essential For Advancing the Human Species

Regardless of where you stand on immigration policy, the comments and actions made about the young immigrants known as Dreamers, Haitians, Salvadorans and those who come from African nations reminded us of our national rancor and division. These events are alarming and upsetting, but if we can put aside our hatred and name calling for the other side, we can learn a valuable lesson that can help push our world forward.

read more
Believing You Are Unworthy is Not Worth a Dime to You or Anyone Else

Believing You Are Unworthy is Not Worth a Dime to You or Anyone Else

It is virtually impossible for anyone to get through life without struggling through a myriad of negative or irrational feelings about ourselves. We were exposed to these negative beliefs early in life. In most cases, these harmful “self truths” have been buried so deep in our unconscious mind we don’t even know our actions are driven by them. After successfully weathering the miasma of the holiday season, I was reminded of how our family connections can help regenerate these overwhelming feelings we carry about ourselves. This is why psychologists have contended for decades that our earliest experiences and traumas must be examined and healed to make progress on the road to our highest selves.

read more
A Valuable Life Lesson From the Poorest People of Machu Picchu

A Valuable Life Lesson From the Poorest People of Machu Picchu

Every human was given a valuable life purpose, but it is up to each individual to find it in themselves. A great purpose involves working in symphony others to create a better world. It is greater than the self and that is why it transcends all the elements and forms of self-seeking. It does not demand fame, power or wealth, helping one person is enough. However, it requires an open heart, respect and acceptance for all regardless of who they are and what they do. A divinely given purpose also treasures the planet and understands the need for ecological balance among all living things.

read more
Finding the Greater Good in Everything You Do

Finding the Greater Good in Everything You Do

I have always envied the Biblical heroes like Moses, Jacob or Abraham. They seemed so lucky as compared to me. God appeared to them and told what to do next. That hasn’t happened for me. In fact, if I ever saw a burning bush, I would take a fire extinguisher and put it out.

read more
The Healing Power of Morning Rituals

The Healing Power of Morning Rituals

Sometimes life is running so smoothly that you are sure you can’t do anything wrong. No matter what direction you take, the wind easily fills your sails and off you go traversing an ocean of calm waters. Other times the wind is so violent and the waves so tall that you are sure your ship will split in two and you will drown.

read more
If You Want A Different World, Become the Change You Wish to See

If You Want A Different World, Become the Change You Wish to See

In the heat of our many discussion, a friend of mined would make fun of me by saying, “Guillermo, opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.” This was his good-natured way of pointing out my tendency to share an opinion on everything under the sun whether I knew anything about the subject or not. 

read more
Scapegoats Make Lousy Pets 

Scapegoats Make Lousy Pets 

I had a terrible outing playing tennis the other day. By the end of my play I stood completely frustrated with my effort, As I can be prone to do, I eagerly distributed the blame for all that happened. My partner was at fault; the courts were too slippery, the other team made terrible line calls, the sun was in my eyes, and the net was too high. I had a hang nail also, but I don’t think it affected anything, although I am not sure.

read more
A Life Without Purpose is Like a Road Trip Without a Destination

A Life Without Purpose is Like a Road Trip Without a Destination

I spent many years creating a plan for retirement. Without thinking much about what retirement meant, I followed the counsel of financial advisors like a mouse running in their maze. I was conviced I was being prudent following their directions, as many commercials seconded their retirement advice.

read more
What the Rock Band The Eagles Teaches About Our Inner Guide

What the Rock Band The Eagles Teaches About Our Inner Guide

One of my favorite musical groups of all-time is The Eagles. Their music spellbinding and their lyrics always seem to speak to my heart and soul. One of their most popular songs, Lying Eyes, provides a great metaphor for how our inner guide speaks to us and how we choose (or not) to follow its guidance.

read more
Learning To Listen to Your Inner Guide

Learning To Listen to Your Inner Guide

I have been an agnostic  and a great skeptic of any mystical beliefs for most of my life. I considered people who believed in things, like the existence of an inner intelligence guiding us, not to be sane. One day a friend described for me how he deciphered a dream where God spoke to him. Having eaten more than my fill from the banquet of my father’s cynicism, I countered with my own “special” dream. I told him how I had spent the night dreaming I had eaten a giant marshmallow. I professed I didn’t know the dream’s meaning but, after waking, I discovered my pillow was missing.

read more
Turning to External Things for Security and Refuge Guarantees a Life of Imprisonment

Turning to External Things for Security and Refuge Guarantees a Life of Imprisonment

As a young child, I had no choice but to rely on those more powerful than me to decide my fate. My parents, of course, played that role in Cuba until I was ten. When mom and dad sent my brothers and I to the United States to escape from Castro’s Cuba, that role was handed over to the authorities running Operation Peter Pan, an American government program that assigned unaccompanied Cuban children to orphanages in all fifty states. When we were sent to Sacred Heart Home In Colorado, I had to rely on the priest and staff in charge of the orphanage. Four years later, the role returned to my parents when we were reunited and moved to Denver.

read more
Embrace What You Hide and Open the Door to Your Authenticity 

Embrace What You Hide and Open the Door to Your Authenticity 

I have written before about our human tendency to see ourselves as inferior, not good enough, not worthy. Having spent the past few years confronting this negative self-belief, I stumbled across something important, this damaging concept is rooted in something we hide about ourselves. Perhaps it is a terrible event that happened in childhood, or one that caused a painful loss. Perhaps it is something about you that is judged negatively by religious dogma. Whatever it is, this hidden part of yourself keeps you living a limited life and keeps you away from your authenticity. I will illustrate this point by sharing a personal story. 

read more
It Is Not About Whether One Sees the Glass as Half Full or Half Empty, It Is About How One Chooses to Evolve

It Is Not About Whether One Sees the Glass as Half Full or Half Empty, It Is About How One Chooses to Evolve

There is a lot to learn about a person from the way they handle trying times. The old saying about the way we describe a partially filled glass of water might predict optimism or pessimism in the observer, but it does nothing to speak of how a person handles themselves during tough times. I believe I am positive person, but I was mediocre in the way I dealt with difficult life events in the past. Ultimately, I get through them, but not without a lot of kicking and screaming along the way. In my twenties and thirties, an old joke went around that seemed to speak to my situation. Here is how it goes.

read more
Six Things You Can Do To Get Through Painful Life Transitions

Six Things You Can Do To Get Through Painful Life Transitions

Life transitions really, really suck! They are always there waiting in every corner of your life to bite you in the ass. Neither age nor wisdom grants you immunity from them. Transitions are some of the most frustrating times in life and every individual will go through them sooner or later. Yet, regardless of the upheaval they cause, transitions are an integral part of our human evolution. Without them we would remain in our own comfort zone and rot
in place.

read more
Tom Petty and Me

Tom Petty and Me

I never met Tom Petty, but his music was transformative for me. Some of my favorites were Free Fallin’, Refugee, Learning to Fly, You Don’t Know How it Feels, to name a few. But the one that moved me the most
was I Won’t Back Down. The song  became my recalcitrant anthem that was a retroactive middle finger to anyone who ever made my life more difficult. Every time I heard the song I could take myself back in time to flip Fidel Castro off for taking everything my family owned. I flipped off my high school counselor too for insisting I didn’t have the smarts to become an engineer. Even my old boss who laid me off got a well deserved f-bomb. The song also worked in this manner for all kinds of future situations. It made me the hero battling the dragons of my own making.

read more
My Time Living With a Giant Crab

My Time Living With a Giant Crab

The strangest thing happened to me recently. I was busy writing my blog for the week when a giant crab—shown in the picture above—startled me by scratching on the sliding glass door. I named him Karkinos after the giant crab in Greek Mythology that the goddess Hera placed among the stars to make up the constellation known as Cancer (my birth sign)

read more
How To Maintain Your Sanity and Have Fun Dating If You Are Over Age Fifty

How To Maintain Your Sanity and Have Fun Dating If You Are Over Age Fifty

I thought I would change the subject from my last several blogs and go back to reflecting on my dating experiences and my attempts to connect with a more authentic self.  This is the topic of my new book coming out soon titled “Catch and Release – One Man’s Improbable Search for True Love and the Meaning of Life.”

read more
Last Thing to Do in Preparation for Hurricane Irma’s Arrival

Last Thing to Do in Preparation for Hurricane Irma’s Arrival

All my hurricane shutters are in place. The car is packed with water, emergency food supplies and clothes to last me for ten days. All of this in preparation and anticipation of the unwelcomed visit that wild bitch, Hurricane Irma, is about to make to my neck of the woods.

read more
How To Stop the Chicken Hawks’ Insane March of Never Ending War

How To Stop the Chicken Hawks’ Insane March of Never Ending War

A Chicken Hawk refers to a person who speaks out to support war, yet has avoided active military service all of their lives. The world, unfortunately, has suffered enough of these types of fools throughout its history and we must all do our part to prevent the wars they perpetrate.

read more
This Is Why Every Life Does Matter

This Is Why Every Life Does Matter

As I travel daily down my spiritual path, I noticed my tendency to judge and segregate between the people I like and those I don’t. Try as hard as I can, I cannot erase this trait from my modus operandi. Up to now, this has been an unconscious reflex, but now I know of it and I cannot accept this as a trait that enhances the greater good I am trying to create. If I truly believe we are all made in God’s image and likeness, then I must accept that every life comes from the same source. This can only lead to one conclusion, every life does matter.

read more
Are Your Actions Helping to Create a Greater Good? A Litmus Test For You as Leader

Are Your Actions Helping to Create a Greater Good? A Litmus Test For You as Leader

Doing the right thing is not a default position for great leaders to take, it is their only option. While it is important to note a person’s modeled behavior and inspirational speak to determine the level of his/her leadership ability, comportment alone is not enough of a measure. The quality of their decisions must also be part of this evaluation.

read more
Hating Trump or His Critics is Wasted Energy, Put Your Efforts Instead Towards Uniting Those Around You.

Hating Trump or His Critics is Wasted Energy, Put Your Efforts Instead Towards Uniting Those Around You.

Ever since the presidential election, I have listened to nighttime comics poke fun at our new president. Months before, I had stopped tuning in to the news because of the constant bickering between political sides. The laughter relieved my anxiety, but it could not cover up the sense of impending doom waiting just around the corner. Out of all this, a question kept surfacing into my conscious thoughts. “How is insulting and criticizing the President helping or improving anything?”

read more
Playing Russian Roulette With Nuclear Weapons

Playing Russian Roulette With Nuclear Weapons

All of us went to bed last night wondering if our world was heading towards a nuclear war. This morning’s news didn’t make me feel any better, as coverage continues to highlight this Russian Roulette style foreign policy being practiced by two powerful world leaders. It is clear international tensions are reaching a boiling point.

read more
Waging War, America’s Favorite Political Pastime

Waging War, America’s Favorite Political Pastime

While I don’t claim to be an expert in foreign policy, I am old enough to understand that a familiar cycle of creating fear to justify war has already begun. Those of us long in the tooth have witnessed this cycle several times before. In my lifetime this political strategy was used to justify our actions in Cuba, Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan. The target is now being painted on North Korea.

read more
Eleven Steps to Help You Age Successfully

Eleven Steps to Help You Age Successfully

It was during my thirties when I first realized that a life based on materialism and self-seeking leaves you with nothing more than an empty spiritual barrel. This was an empty, meaningless life that led me to a scary period of depression and forced me to strip away these false external prophets of happiness. This was a giant step towards spiritual maturity and the discovery of the true meaning of my life.

read more
WTF is The Law of Attraction About?

WTF is The Law of Attraction About?

Having spent the last couple of year ruminating in search of my spiritual path, I came across one of the main tenets of new spiritual thought called “the law of attraction”.

read more
What I Am Telling My Children About The Crap Happening In Our Country

What I Am Telling My Children About The Crap Happening In Our Country

President Donald Trump’s tweets should not surprise anyone anymore. Although their content is unpredictable, the fact he uses Twitter to communicate his thoughts and feelings should be expected. Also predictable is the overwhelming news coverage that the tweets create. Every time I witness the furious fervor raging in the various media outlets, I ask myself, are these actions from a seriously deranged man, or are they an example of a genial mastermind strategically implementing his agenda? You can hear arguments from both sides of madman vs. genius but, since I don’t live inside Trump’s skin, I frankly do not know the answer to my own question. One thing is sure, as an outside witness, I am left to wonder, what should parents be telling their children about the illustrative values being flashed in front of them?

read more
The Past was Not Intended to be Relived in the Present

The Past was Not Intended to be Relived in the Present

Whenever I see the slogan “Let’s Make America Great Again”, I am reminded of my body’s physical changes as I have aged. More specifically, I recall the changes I had to make to remain an effective basketball player. Let me explain what my bodily deterioration and a political slogan have in common.

read more
How to Forgive an Unrepentant Abuser

How to Forgive an Unrepentant Abuser

The question of forgiveness has been around me a lot. Perhaps this past Father’s Day made me recall the thorny relationship I shared with my father and mother. A week earlier, as I was cycling in Spain, I had plenty of time to reflect on the topic.

read more
Chasing After a Nurse or a Purse, the Misguided Efforts of Many in their Third Stage of Life

Chasing After a Nurse or a Purse, the Misguided Efforts of Many in their Third Stage of Life

Having just spent ten days in Portugal and Spain riding 300 miles on a bicycle, I got a lot of time to reflect on my ongoing aging process (not to mention a very sore butt). I never realized before how much I feared growing old. As I reflect on my life, I can see how this anxiety progressed in my conscious mind like a slow rot poisoning my disposition with every passing year. This became particularly true when the thoughts of dying destitute and alone surfaced soon after my divorce from the person I believed I would spend the rest of my life with. I am not the only person experiencing this, for many single people over fifty obsess about their impending end. As the baby boomers generation ages, this fear is apparent in an American saying that is growing in popularity, “as we get old, we look to marry a nurse or a purse.”

read more
Which George Orwell Novel are We Living in Today; 1984 or Animal Farm?

Which George Orwell Novel are We Living in Today; 1984 or Animal Farm?

Ever since Donald Trump surprised the world by becoming President of the United States, there have been many articles comparing the current American political atmosphere with the one in Orwell’s classic novel “1984”. The recent budget submission by the Trump administration, along with the passage of the AHCA bill to repeal and replace Obamacare, reminded me of another Orwell novel, Animal Farm.

read more
On-line Dating, a Brave New World!

On-line Dating, a Brave New World!

Although one might say that my life has been a long series of encountering and then persevering though many difficult stages, nothing has been more perplexing to me than the issues surrounding love and relationships. At age sixty-five, I found this trial to be more mystifying than ever, especially because of the need to rely on online sites to meet a possible mate.

read more
The Night of the (Mary) Iguana

The Night of the (Mary) Iguana

I just finished reading an article about how iguanas are spreading into South Florida like a scourge. Apparently, they have outgrown the population...

read more
The Truth About the Steady Effects Undocumented Immigrants Have on the United States

The Truth About the Steady Effects Undocumented Immigrants Have on the United States

Much has been said and written about the negative effect of undocumented (or illegal, the moniker some like to use) immigrants on our nation’s economy, social security system, health care, security and so on. Much of it is false hyperbole used to generate fear among us and stop logical discussion. These are some actual facts to help clarify some of the biggest myths out there.

read more
Seven Practical Reasons for Why We Need Immigration Reform Today

Seven Practical Reasons for Why We Need Immigration Reform Today

With all of the debate in our country about immigration reform, I am providing a practical summary of the reasons why we need new legislation to help solve this problem. Many solutions have been suggested, like building a wall, but these are inherently rendered useless if the approach to solving this problem is not more comprehensive.

read more
April’s Fool

April’s Fool

I wanted to have a little fun and play a part in the long suffering tradition of spreading bad jokes and hoaxes that are part April 1st every year. I have included a very amateruish home video of myself “honoring” the life long and devoted effort that so many people among us dedicate towards perfecting a skill or talent.

read more
An Important Lesson From History for Modern Day America, The Berlin Wall

An Important Lesson From History for Modern Day America, The Berlin Wall

”Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” These immortal words, spoken on June 12, 1987 by President Ronald Reagan, forewarned the end of the Cold War. Two years later, the Berlin Wall was disassembled, along with Communism in Eastern Europe. After 26 years, the toll was 160 dead, 120 injured and over 3200 people imprisoned trying to cross over from East to West Germany. This victory of U.S. foreign policy marked the beginning of a euphoric time, as it promised to every human being around the globe “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”.

read more
Creating a Healthy Work Environment Where all Can Thrive

Creating a Healthy Work Environment Where all Can Thrive

Grudges between coworkers exist in the workplace. This unfortunate happenstance can determine the quality of the work environment in any organization. If leaders project an atmosphere of punishment for errors, they will foster an air of bad feelings and finger pointing among their employees. If they put stock in the value of every employee’s contribution and use mistakes as important lessons to improve, they will succeed in creating an environment where every person has a chance to do their very best.

read more
It is Not a Republican Dream, It is Not a Democrat Dream, It is OUR American Dream, Damn It!

It is Not a Republican Dream, It is Not a Democrat Dream, It is OUR American Dream, Damn It!

Have you stopped to wonder just what the f— happened to our country? How did things get this out of whack? When did we get here? Why did we loose our sense of a republic, our pride of being the world’s beacon for democracy? When did we start believing that our neighbors who disagree with us are not American? What caused us to think that it is ok for a state to secede from the union? When did we start designating Christians as the only true Americans? Why did we start believing that immigrants are rapists, murderers and terrorists? What are the reasons behind allowing our elected representatives to openly work against our president and our government with no repercussions for their actions? How did it become acceptable for a foreign power to interfere with the way we select our leaders? I could go on and on, but I know you are asking yourselves similar questions.

read more
Five Telltale Signs of a Leader that Sucks

Five Telltale Signs of a Leader that Sucks

Throughout the course of my life I have been surrounded by leaders who inspired me to use my gifts and energy towards creating a greater good. My experiences have also exposed me to others who have not cut the mustard. In both cases, I have learned great lessons about the kind of leadership that creates and nourishes the efforts of those around them. Leaders that asphyxiate, paralyze and extinguish the creative effort of the people they represent or manage have also schooled me. Today I chose to write about this other class of leaders because their lessons are so important.

read more
Reflections on Love from the World of the Dearly Discarded

Reflections on Love from the World of the Dearly Discarded

Because February is well know for it’s connection to lovers, I wanted to dedicate my writing efforts to the subject of dating and finding love at any age.

Let’s be honest here, although I don’t want to appear too cynical, the fact is that Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark invented occasion to celebrate romantic love and to bring business to flower arrangers, candy stores, jewelers and stationary/greeting card shops.

read more

Pin It on Pinterest