Amid the grieving a major loss, it is not surprising to want to return to the way things were before the event. But for as tempting as it is to wish for things to return to “normal”, the fact is you are just wasting important energy needed to facilitate your healing and moving forward.

Nature has many examples of how things can never go back to what they once were. A butterfly cannot re-enter the cocoon to convert back to a caterpillar, trees can never return to their seed, crabs will not shrink to return to the smaller shell they once molted.

Think about your own body. It is part of our human biology to replace all of our cells every seven years or so. The body you have today is not the same as the one you had two months ago. You cannot return to it any more than you can return to the body you had as a baby.

Change is our opportunity to grow

The human journey is fascinating. As a reflection of our Creator, we are ever changing, growing, learning, creating and developing. Life transitions provide the catalyst for this growth to take place.

There are so many great metaphors in literature, history, religious books and in fairy tales. One of my favorites is the story of Humpty Dumpty, the anthropomorphic egg figure in the nursery rhyme who had a great fall. There was good reason all the king’s horses and all the king’s men could never reassemble Humpty Dumpty. He broke into a million pieces!

We are like Humpty Dumpty when a change “breaks” our lives, nothing can put us back together to the way we once were. There is a purpose for this, your ego shell must crack to let the light of your Higher Consciousness shine through. We grow when we let go of security and predictability (even if we are forced to do so) because it opens us up to alternative ways of being and thinking (if we will let it).

There is no point looking back 

In Genesis 19, Lot’s wife became a pillar of salt when she disobeyed God’s warning to not stop to watch the destruction of Sodom.

I am not suggesting you will become a mountain of salt if you keep looking back and hoping for your old life, but this story tells us there is no point doing this. Something broke your mold and there is nothing you can do about it.  The sooner you look ahead, the better.


I love the story of the Phoenix from Greek Mythology. The Phoenix is a bird that is cyclically reborn by arising from the ashes of its ancestor. This is the story of our souls who must fight to be reborn every time we enter a time of transition and change.

Growth is at the essence of your spirit. Like a root-bound plant confined in its old pot, staying in an unchanging life will slowly choke you to death. If you are living through a difficult life challenge reflect on your past trials and note how you have grown from them, you became better. Every time this cycle repeats in your life, you will benefit from its inherent lessons.

Your growth is where hope and joy live. These don’t exist in the past.

Photo by Bankim Desai on Unsplash