When recovering from a major loss, it is not surprising to long for a return to the way things were. But for as tempting as it is to pass the time wishing for things to return to “normal”, the fact is you are just wasting important energy needed to facilitate your healing.

Nature has many examples of how things can never go back to what they once were. A butterfly cannot return to be a caterpillar, trees can never return to their seed, crabs will not shrink to return to the smaller shell they shed.

Think about your own body. It is part of our human biology to replace all of our cells every few months. The body you have today is not the same as the one you had two months ago. You cannot return to it any more than you can return to the body you had as a baby.

Change is our opportunity to grow

The human journey is fascinating. As a reflection of our creator, we are ever changing, growing, learning, creating and evolving. Life transitions provide the catalyst for growth to take place.

There are so many great metaphors in literature, history, religious books and even in fairy tales. Remember, Humpty Dumpty who had a great fall, there was good reason all the king’s horses and all the king’s men could never reassemble the old Humpty Dumpty.

We are like Humpty Dumpty when a change “breaks” our lives, nothing can put it back together again. There is good purpose in this, the ego shells we created must crack to let the light of our Higher Consciousness shine through. We grow when we let go of our security and predictability (even if we are forced to do so) because we open up to new ways of being and thinking.

There is no point looking back 

In Genesis 19, Lot’s wife became a pillar of salt when she disobeyed God’s warning to not stop to watch the destruction of Sodom.

I am not suggesting you will become salt if you keep hoping for your old life, but the story tells us there is no point looking back at the obliteration of what once was. Something broke your mold and there is nothing you can do about it.  The sooner you look ahead the better.


I love the story of the Phoenix from Greek Mythology. The Phoenix is a bird that is cyclically born again by arising from the ashes of its ancestor. This is the story of our souls who must fights to be reborn every time we enter a time of transition and change.

Growth is at the essence of our spirit. Like a root-bound plant confined in its old pot, staying in an unchanging life will slowly choke us to death. If you are living through a difficult life challenge right now, reflect on your past trials and take note of how you have grown from them, you became better. This cycle is repeating itself and you will benefit from its inherent lessons.

Your growth is where hope and joy live. These don’t exist in the past.

As always, wishing you a life filled with joy, love and serenity.

Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash