Life transitions often catch us by surprise. They can demoralize and disorient us, especially if we thought we were doing the right things all along. Suddenly, it becomes difficult to explain why that dream job you got five years ago has become empty and lackluster. Or the ideal mate that you married has inexplicably become aloof and you wonder if the marriage will last. During times like these, we can become so afraid of the changes we may need to make, that we often chose the road of denial to sidestep the emptiness and dissatisfaction we are experiencing. But disavowing reality will not allow you to escape the inevitable shift that is coming into your life.
For as scary and painful as these experiences are, you must learn to recognize them so you can begin doing the work of growing through them. This is how your Higher Self invites you to develop into the person you were born to be.
You are at the cusp when….
The following seven signs will help you recognize when you are entering a new phase of your life.
1) Your life seems fake. There are times in life when you discover that things that meant a great deal to you once don’t seem to give you pleasure anymore. It is as though someone turned on the lights so you could finally see the reality of everything, your marriage, career, or the social status you worked so hard to get. This new sight has caused you to see your life had been a fake all along and now you have lost your energy and focus to invest in it any further. You feel broken like Humpty Dumpty, for you are sure “all the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put you back together again.”
2) You long to have meaning and purpose. There was a time when everything was working. You were positive you were born to do what it was you were doing. You were in a flow, but that sense has long gone. Without warning, an unsuspecting storm blindsided you and threw your ship off course. You seem so lost that you wonder if you will ever find your way back again. Missing is the certainty you were important and doing meaningful things.
3) You want to be alone. Although you can’t explain it, you find being around people to be draining. Friendships you enjoyed don’t give you pleasure anymore. Even family members annoy you. You delay answering phone calls, texts and emails until the absolute last moment. Some you don’t answer at all. The people close to you complain about the cloud of aloofness that surrounds you. You feel guilty about it, but you prefer contemplative times alone, like going on a hike or walking the beach.
4) You sense you are alone. Although people who love and support you hang around, you feel apart from them. There is no talking about the emptiness you feel to anyone, for they wouldn’t understand. They see you as you once were, and they can’t comprehend why you are not happy. They tell you to snap out of it, but they don’t realize those words aren’t helping. Despite your best efforts to keep your chin up, you find no solace in family, friends or activities.
5) You want to flee. You started imagining it would be better starting over somewhere where no one knows and expects anything from you. You even fantasize about leaving everything behind and sneaking off to a simpler life somewhere far away. Envy has become a strange friend, for you resent people you perceive live uncomplicated lives and you wonder how it ever got this crazy for you.
6) You question your beliefs in God. It is not unusual for you to blame a Higher Power during these times of dread and disappointment, especially after you spent many hours asking God to take this burden away from you. But every morning greets you with the same misery and you have no hope the situation will change. The beliefs about God you accepted from the teachings of others from the time you were a child have become rubbish to you.
7) You doubt life has meaning. As fatigue sets in from all this internal processing, you are convinced life is just a sad compilation of one damn thing after another. All this talk about being born with a purpose seems meaningless and you wonder if anything matters.
The source of pain and disorientation during times of transition is your attachment to the way things were. This is wrong thinking, for nothing stays the same. Look around you, change is inevitable. We were not meant to remain in the same stage of life forever. On the contrary, we were born to grow and learn from our experiences.
Life is like a multi-act play. Sometimes an act is longer and more complicated than others. Occasionally the stage is set in a different location with a completely new cast of characters. Yet each act builds upon the one before and what you learn from one you take to the next.
Know you have done nothing wrong; you are not the victim of your mistakes nor are you being punished for sins you committed. This is simply the normal process of life. What is happening to you now happens to every person at one time or another; your Higher Self is calling on you to evolve. Think of this process as you are beginning to awaken. Life is not happening to you. It is working for you, so on with the play.
Remember, paying gratitude for your life forward will reward you with spirits of joy and contentment.
Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash