People who provide wisdom about getting through life’s challenges focus on how to endure the pain of loss and change. This is valuable advice, but there is not much out there about reaching the end of a difficult life transition. Knowing you are near the end is important because it gives you hope life is not only normalizing, but actually getting better.
Signs of your coming new life
Spring is lovely in Colorado. My favorite time to take a mountain hike is on a sunny day when the melting snow reveals the seedlings breaking through the frozen surface. They remind me of the inevitability of growth after death. Your life follows a similar life cycle where new growth springs forward from the wasteland.
Here are four signs of your seedlings breaking through to the light of the sun;
1) You begin to realize you are no longer bound by the traditions and beliefs of your old life.
Your life no longer fits in the secure and predictable model it once had. You are beginning to notice that you are free to create any life you want without these old restrictions binding you.
2) There is noticeable progress made since your transition began.
You are not fixated on the change and its causes as much as at the beginning. In fact, you are spending time on new hobbies or activities you truly enjoy. The positive changes you adopted are more visible and are showing tangible results. A good example of this can be seen when people commit to an exercise program or music lessons. Feeling better because of these new habits gives one positive momentum as you move into the future.
3) You are experiencing moments of gratitude for what happened.
No one wishes for a divorce, a job loss, or the death of a loved one, but there are inherent lessons in these events that can help you evolve. A divorce can set you free to discover new avenues for love and commitment. It might even teach you the joys of being alone. Many people have discovered a true career passion after losing a job.
I would never tell someone they are lucky to have lost a loved one or to be experiencing a difficult health issue. That is a good way to get a punch to the face. But there are many examples of people who surpassed their wildest dreams after overcoming such difficult challenges. If you are noticing the positive opportunities resulting from your life change, then you know you are on your way to something better.
4) You are noting the joyful current of life flowing around you.
Nature walks are a good way to bring your attention back to the living. Watching children laughing on a playground or seeing old friends at a coffee shop engaged in conversations are all reminders that your problem did not derail everything around you. People and nature are still buzzing with life and they help you see you are not dead, you can join them. And you will once you can loosen the grip on your sorrow.
There is still work to do
These are all great signs, but it does not mean you have finished your work. However, at least you know you are reaching markers nearer to the end of this journey. This realization can give you the hopeful energy to complete the metamorphosis started by your life challenge. Take heart, you have broken through the grounds of despair and are seeing the light.
As always, wishing you a life filled with joy, love and serenity.