Life is a journey we take alone. This is not a complaint; it is a fact. There is no one else in there with you, so you might as well work to be comfortable while your finite body houses your spirit. The great news is that you are in command and you can choose any direction you want.
This is doable but difficult
Living according to what others wanted was the way I learned to cope with the environment, experiences and people that were part of my life. This caused me to subjugate my true feelings and beliefs if they conflicted with those of the people I wanted to please. I often ignored my boundaries to get the support or agreement from another. This was particularly prevalent in my romantic relationships where I believed that I needed to blur my boundaries to gain the love my partner required of me.
Over the years, this appeared to work, but that was an illusion. A house is doomed to collapse if we build it on a foundation of sand. This will happen no matter how sturdy its walls. Unknowingly, I built my beliefs on a similarly flimsy foundation. When this life collapsed a handful of years ago, I felt disoriented, for I believed I had been doing the right thing.
In retrospect, this collapse has turned out to be my greatest blessing, for it made me focus inward to reconnect with my authentic self.
If you are find yourself flat on your ass after realizing your way of behaving has failed you, take heart, you are on the threshold of discovering the real you.
Six actions that bring self-acceptance
It is our daily choices that connect us with our Highest Self, but the majority of people don’t realize this. Similar to developing any habit, it takes daily commitment and action to make this connection a regular part of your life. This will make you more conscious of which are your healthy choices. Here six things that will make you more comfortable inside your skin.
1) Be grateful.
The greatest aspect of my evolution (so far) is that, despite all of my “successes” and “failures”, I have managed to evolve into the best person I have ever been. This was not clear at first, for anger and bitterness ruled my life whenever things fell apart. It was not until I realized how everything in my life had contributed to my development that I could appreciate their effect on me. Seeing life as a learning experience is the key to becoming grateful for it. When you realize your experiences were important lessons, you stop judging them as good or bad. Without judgement, you can remain calm, look for the benefits of each lesson and become grateful.
2) Choose honesty.
No lie, no matter how small, provides a single benefit; they are used to manipulate the thinking and perception of others. Self lies are a way to manipulate yourself into doing things not aligned with your Highest Purpose. Honesty is like sunshine; it allows you to see things for what they are. When you choose honest and ethical behavior, your light gives life to everyone around you and all situations.
3) Stop Comparing.
Everyone has their journey to live out. What someone has, who they are and what they are experiencing has nothing to do with us. Comparing ourselves to others is like a monkey comparing himself/herself to a lion and then trying to be one. Makes no sense. The only thing you should measure is the progress from who you were.
4) Begin with kindness.
Mr. Rodgers, the TV star of the famous children’s program, is credited with the following wisdom;
“There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. the third way is to be kind.”
We cannot know what goes on inside another’s mind. There is no way of knowing what affects another or why they do the things they do. Being kind means you give others the benefit of a doubt. Kindness is based on the knowledge that we are all struggling to try to figure life out. It does not take much to be kind, a nice word or smile is often enough.
5) Say “no”.
No one can make you do or say anything you don’t want (unless they are holding a gun to your head). You are the one responsible for guarding and enforcing your boundaries. If there is something you don’t want to do, say no. Just like your heart wants what your heart wants, the heart does not want what the heart does not want. YOU have these preferences inside you for a reason. Learn to honor them. Saying no makes you powerful and in control of the way you live.
6) Develop a spiritual practice.
Although your Higher Consciousness is always available, it waits for you to want a relationship with him/her. Developing a spiritual practice is your way of engaging. It’s sort of like asking someone out on a date, you must put yourself out there to show you are interested in starting a relationship. I meditate twice a day and read many things that speak to my spiritual development. There are many things out there you can do to develop a spiritual practice; you just need to find one that works for you.
A Higher Power created you with a unique purpose and meaning. Just like your body needs healthy cells to operate well, so too does the world need you to live out your most authentic life for its benefit. Being tall, slim, attractive, rich, poor, sickly, etc. does not matter at all, you have your particular life curriculum and learning these lessons is your mission. The closer you live in this undertaking, the greater you will feel. The world desperately needs this from you.
Remember, paying gratitude for your life forward will fill you with joy and contentment.