Are you living your best life today or are you waiting for some miracle to make that happen? Chances are you are reading this because you are traveling on a life path you never picked. This is not uncommon, for most people are living an unconscious life where they don’t know what they want.

The “I will be happy when club.” 

Are you one of those who think your fate will change for the better when you have more money, a bigger house, or a new romantic partner? Do you believe your best life awaits you when you have kids or reach the age of retirement? If your answer is yes, then you are a member of the “I will be happy when” club. But no external goal or material possession will give your life a sense of contentment and fulfillment, you will be hugely disappointed when the object you worked so hard to get loses its sparkle.

Relying on the external world to provide for my fulfillment was one of life’s minefield I lingered on for decades. I stepped on many landmines on my way to wealth, love and status, and wasted a lot of years living a life of quiet desperation after the temporary high from attaining them wore off. My life became—as the band Pink Floyd sings in their song—“comfortably numb.” This is no way to live.

There is reason to hope

I am living my best life today, but it is not because external circumstances that have provided me with this contentment; the changes were an inside job. You can do this, and here are five things you can do that will help you live your best life now.

You can choose to…..

1)        Connect with your Higher Consciousness. 

I get uncomfortable when talking about spirituality because I don’t want to be labeled a “religious freak”. This is because my ego fears the negative judgment of others, but I think these lessons are important for me to share.

At the time this latest transition came into my life, I had been an agnostic for decades . My skepticism about a Higher Power kept me rooted in the material world. I feel differently now.

Thanks to authors like Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra (to name a few), I learned that I had been deliberately ignoring the signs of the Higher Consciousness that lives in all of us and wants us to live joyful and fulfilling lives. This Consciousness, or God, is an ever expanding, creating and loving presence that longs for you to recognize your connection with it. Many contend this inner being communicates through your intuition, but I know it as the soft voice that speaks to me with more constructive suggestions when I can set aside any reaction to my initial urges.

Connecting to my Higher Power has given me a sense I control my life. I am also more aware of how we are all connected and have value and purpose. This new perspective has transformed my reality.

It is much better to see life and everyone in it as having purpose and value than to persist living out the axiom, “he/she who dies with the most toys wins.”

2)        See yourself as a student in this earth school.

Accustomed to judging my experiences, I developed a victim’s outlook. A victim has no power, like a tumbleweed being swept at the whim of the four winds across the landscape. Under this mindset, my experiences lifted or sank me, and they filled my life with allies and enemies. Shitty way to go through life.

When I choose to view my experiences as having had a hand in shaping me, I saw the influence of the eternal in my life. You can do the same, and when you do, it will transform you from the victim of your circumstances to the wiser person that was shaped by them. This will help you see how the universe has been conspiring with you all along and you will become grateful for the experiences and people that have been part of your life.

3)        Stop comparing yourself to others. 

Nothing can be more discouraging than comparing how you stack up to other people. There will always be someone stronger, faster, prettier, smarter, richer, etc. Under this scenario there can only be one number one. But that is not how life is. Each one of us is the hero of our own journey. Every person was created with their own set of circumstance and experiences and challenges. We are unique, and our earth curriculum is just for us. Comparing ourselves to others is a useless waste of time.

4)        Accept that everyone is doing the best they know how to do. 

Everyone, even those we consider to be the nastiest person in our lives, is doing things according to the coping mechanisms they learned. Like you, every person was born innocent. The people, experiences and environment shaped their upbringing.

This does not mean that one should excuse cruel and abusive behavior, on the contrary, we should work to stop all sadistic and wrongful behavior against ourselves and others. But, by reserving your judgment only to the acts, you are acknowledging that you do not understand their intent because you do not live inside the person. For example, how many parents do you know hit their kids because they believed if

“You spared the rod, you spoiled the child.”

Acknowledging that we are all doing the best we can is key to experiencing compassion and forgiveness. Your life will be much better when you move away from hatred and a desire for revenge.

5)        Adopt a feeling of abundance. 

Do you see the glass as half full or half empty? It makes a difference. If you are one of those who sees the glass as half empty, I can assure you there are no conditions under which you will ever believe you have enough.

An attitude of “not enough” is what keeps you grounded on pursuing more material things. “Not enough” keeps you comparing yourself to others. It keeps your eye off the fact you are abundant in the present.

There is nothing wrong with having goals, trying to improve a skill, or attaining greater knowledge. What is incorrect thinking is that your happiness and fulfillment depend on these things. You always have everything you need in the present moment. When you see that, you will feel surrounded by abundance.


It is possible to change your life if you can change the thoughts you have about yourself and others. But it is difficult to deprogram yourself from the thoughts you have embedded in your unconscious mind. The aforementioned steps are useful for identifying and changing the negative thoughts and beliefs that keep you in a negative, unproductive funk. But this alone may not be enough.

Traumatic experiences are powerful, and you may not change your thoughts by just repeating new ones. Affirmations don’t work without a true belief in them. You may not be able to do that on your own and there is no shame in seeking professional help to guide you.

Going through a difficult life transition?

You might enjoy reading my latest memoir, Catch and Release: One Man’s Improbable Search for True Love and the Meaning of Life. Download a PDF of the first 5 chapters of Catch and Release for free.  To order your inscribed copy in either hardcover or paperback, click here ( Catch and Release is also available on Kindle here ( You can also subscribe to my free weekly newsletter on my website and receive motivation and encouragement to help you on your way to recovery.


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