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I have been pondering this question ever since an old memory of my father came up during my meditation time. This memory pertained to a time my father was giving me a warning about keeping my guard up to protect me from other people. His words of caution went like this;
I could have titled this piece “How to forgive your abusers”, but I think surviving a troubled childhood is about a lot more than forgiving those who made you suffer. It is about understanding how a troubled childhood has affected your life and kept you from becoming the best you were meant to be.
Setting and enforcing boundaries is necessary if you want to maintain healthy relationships. Many of us, however, were trained to do exactly the opposite. Our parents, teachers and mentors convinced us it was selfish to take care of our needs before the needs of others. They also taught us to adhere to rules of our family adults and those of people in authority.